Consider this: A guy works a normal job, has a normal girlfriend, a normal apartment and a normal life. He looks normal also. He considers himself happy or at least resonably content. He is not the outgoing type, but meets a nice young man at a convention center. They become friends, since they seem equal. One day they have lunch and the new friend, I will call him Ruben, Ruben is eating a sandwich consisting of 8 ounces of roastbeef and a lettuce leaf. The first guy, I'll call him Bert, finds that kind of strange. Ruben looks at the bread and potatoes on Bert's plate with disgust and explains he's doing Atkins. In other words no carbs, carbs are killers. Bert has been eating a relatively balanced diet, high in "carbs", inspired by Pritikin and is shocked at first, then confused. He does not change his diet, but starts noticing disgusted and hostile stares whenever he eats a muffin or bagel.
Time passes.
Eventually he can't stand the pier pressure and goes on Atkins. He starts to smell bad from the mouth. And he becomes constipated. But he loses 3 pounds. And his girlfriend goes on Atkins and loses 20 pounds and leaves him for Ruben.
I think this story is going to be a real hit in the diet community.

Do not, and I mean NOT, order a Salmon Dish at a generic Indian restaurant on 6th Street. Your first impulse ("Salmon curry???") is correct.

If you are in the New York area, definetely check out the Fassbinder movies at the Film Forum , a rare chance to see his movies in excellent quality. I saw Fox and his Friends last night, an exquisitely executed movie with great acting (including Fassbinder himself as Fox), lots of funny scenes and shots and tons of naked gay men. But be prepared for two hours of knowledge of inevitible catastrophe with little hope for an alternative outcome. Playing this weekend.

And: Bill Clinton and Jesus Christ share the rank as greatest American of all times (13% of American votes)

Found this in Harper's

We've Created a Muenster

The following are titles of books published in China last year. The books were inspired by the success of Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson, which sold 1.6 million copies in China despite the fact that most Chinese have never tasted cheese. Translated from the Mandarin by Crystyl Mo.

Whose Cheese Should I Move? by He Jun
Can I Move Your Cheese? by Chen Tong
Who Dares to Move My Cheese? by Kang Yanning
I Don't Bother to Move Your Cheese by Wu Yizhou
Aggitating, Alluring Cheese by Lian Yuming
No One Can Move My Cheese! The New Allegory of Cheese, The New Enlightenment of Allegory by Zhang Xiaofeng
Make The Cheese By Yourself! by Dong Huangfu
A Piece of Cheese: Reading World Famous Fairytales With Mom by Yi Su
Management Advice 52 from the Cheese by Fang Yuan
No More Cheese! by Lin Zhanxian
Chinese People Eat Cheese? - Who Took My Meatbun? by Chuan Xiang

a: you know you gotta really--
b: Oh yeah? Gotta what?
a: I've said it before and it's for your own good, but you need to remove that--
b: The only reason it's there in the first place is because YOU never--
a : Yes, I know I'm sorry--
b: You promised--
a: One day, when things are different.
b: What I'm saying is you don't know nothing about it.
a: Well I know all the financial aspects of it.
b: So stick to the financial aspects.
a: But there is no reason to invest, if it doesn't serve its purpose!
b: Oh? Who says it doesn't?

It feels so good to have the last word...
People's sanity level falls and rises with the economy. People's weight does, too. People's mood falls and rises with other people's weight.
The whole thing must be circular!

Missy Elliott is funny.

I tried my best to see the Leonardo show at the Metropolitan Museum , but it was just too crowded for comfort. This is Thursday around 1:30 in the afternoon, I don't even want to know what Saturdays are like. But I did catch a glimpse and one thing is for sure, the man was brilliant. And he worked for it. Seriously, he engaged everything, studied everything, looked at it, thought it through, took it apart and reassembled it on paper. It is no coincidence that his drawings are what they are. People back then did a lot more work in general. And it shows. Now lets get back to cut-and-paste-plus-filter Photoshop....

Just saw Russian Ark. Beautifully done, smart, artfull....lengthy.....
trying to tell you something about Russian culture and history. Then go home and do the research.

I won't complain about the watery mess that follows a snowstorm. Because that's boring. I'll just say it's challenging to negotiate you way across streets. So let me complain about the people instead who with a friendly "excuse me" push me aside and block my path and stand on the dry spots and keep me from getting anywhere. Why are they entitled to dry passage and I am not? Why do other people have great prospects and opportunities? Why do other people have fun? Is it because I'm not blond?
On a more positive note: Check out the latest crazy person show at The Folkart Museum. Adolf Woelfli opens February 25. That should be fun!

New York city has dissapeared. Last time I saw this much snow was in the Alps, I think. And when I left the house this morning (!!!) I actually didn't see much of anything at all, everything white and wind and storm and white powder and my feet are wet and no place to step, no place to go, only snow. I somehow survived and I know now what a blizzard warning means. It means: stay out of it.
It's really nice outside, now that it mellowed out a bit, everything white and quiet and nothing open and no cars. Last time it was this qiet here was right after 9/11. But to get to the point: As I got caught in the maze of subway rerouting, not running, alternative routes, alternative lines, alternative stops, I vividly had the image in my head of the compassionate woman on TV, telling me about the storm, telling me to stay indoors, assuring me it is freezing and cold and disgusting. Just like she actually knew what cold meant. I When someone introduced herself to someone next to me, I seemed to recognize her voice. I looked and recognized her feartures, heard her repeat what she had said on television. There she was, taking the subway, just like me....everyday? I think it was the first time in my life I had seen her. And that twice, on tv and at the platform. There had to be some significance in that. (Like, maybe, nothing was commuting except for the subway and there are only 5 people out and only two subways, so those 5 people out there are bound to meet and somehow form a brotherhood?)
She sat opposite me in the subway. I got a look at her and her friend. Both of them where wearing high heels. Amazing women they must be: strong, balanced and with healthcoverage. I think the woman has a new fan.

I saw Adaptation today. I had my doubts when I went in, I must admit. It sounded very much like an IDEA someone had, really selfindulgent, really tweaky, really cleaned up and palatable art. But if you ignore all you know about the movie and accept Nicholas Cage for what he is, it is actually a pretty entertaining experience. It's about the screenwriter writing about himself writing the movie we are watching, the struggle, the doubts, the truth and the fiction (that get all mixed up here) and his alter ego in the form of a self assured twin brother. It's a comedy. And there is kind of a happy ending when the protagonist has grown beyond his selfloathing and doubts and the screenplay is written ( which is important, otherwise we would not be able to watch the movie). I actually had a pretty good time, but if you were to hire someone to adopt a book on orchids as a movie and they came back (months past the deadline) with a story about their sexual frustration and hair problems -- I mean, honestly, they'd be fired.

I went to Duane Reade this morning, not exactly to get things, but because it was the closest place to go into when I realized the air was freezing in my lungs and that I was sure to die within minutes. It was really pretty cold. Anyway, wandering aimlessly through the ailes, I spotted a shelf with various water filters. Not that they's get the smallpox out of the water or the zyanide. There was one that interested me in particular, a small one that fits all standard bottles, so you can just put it on a coke bottle you filled with water and it tastes just like bottled water. What a concept! And the water does taste just fine. It ends up all over your head, though, because the bottle doesn't fit tightly. Maybe I should have gotten the Brita filter for a dollar more. Is that the moral of the story?

The funny part is that the reports of the protest are focused much on the poor cops and the money spent on paying them. They could have stayed home, no problem. The trick was to not let people march and gather properly, so they can report that only a few people actually showed up. I love the USA. I really do. At the moment, I just can't explain why.